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After we cleaned up the mess, she was getting ready to go home. Susan told me to loosen up a little. She said I was a beautiful young woman and should get rid of the frumpy skirts and bulky tops and show off more of myself. Her exact words went something like; dress up sexy and turn my husband on. She also wanted to know what the rest of my husband's fantasies were because she and her husband were planning to do them all, as soon as he recovered from the make-out pond adventure.The next week was rough for me. I studied the 12 balls to figure out some way to cheat. Then I rationalized that the chances were better for me to pick numbers 1 through 8. Every night Jake would kiss balls 9 through 12 and place them gently back into the basket. Jake's birthday was on Wednesday and we had agreed in advance to buy his present on Saturday, or if one of those dreaded number 9-12 balls showed up to act it out on Saturday. Wednesday evening after supper Susan and her Husband came over. It was like. I think it all started when I began my own analysis. It’s quite difficult to look at one’s self in a purely objective manner. It was certainly different, but I liked it. Mazlow made a triangle and inserted ‘needs’ into each level. What he made was a hierarchy of needs. At the bottom was the basic need for shelter, food, sustenance. At the top … self actualization. My belief is that when I reach my self actualization, I touch my ‘heaven on Earth.’ There’s no way to maintain self actualization because we, as human beings, are constantly changing. Once we finally reach that point, there is always something new to process. And so goes the cycle… I think I know myself pretty well right now. I’m aware of my faults, my insecurities, my desires, needs, and my instincts. I believe it’s arrogant to think that any one person is better than the next. We’re all born the same. Naked and helpless. Every able-bodied person was born with free will … the free will to make change … to make your life.
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